This morning while I was cleaning my house I was listening to some music and a song I haven’t heard since I was little girl came on - Coat of Many Colours by Dolly Parton. This was one of my Mama’s favourite songs. My Mama always listened to the older style country while I was growing up so it holds a place deep in my heart.
As I was listening to the song, I began to cry (people who know me will know I tend to do that a lot..I am like my Mama that way). I stopped and just kind of sat down and thought back to a random memory I haven’t thought about in years. Of an apron my Mama made for me for Foods Class in Grade 9.
Many people know my mother suffers from Bipolar, what they may not know is for a time when I was younger (almost all of Grade 9) she lost her mind. There were months where she did not know I was, who my stepdad was, or even who she was. It took a toll on our family but a larger one on my sweet Mama.
(This wasn't Grade 9, but I found it years later)
She would occasionally come back to me though and I remember one incident where I told her I needed an apron for foods class, I expected her to just get Pat (my Stepfather) to give me some money to go buy one. The next morning I woke up and she had made me one, she doesn’t remember making it at all, but it is something I still have at my mama’s house (I should probably get it for my hope chest). The apron was sewn haphazardly and far too long, it went down to my toes). I am sure my mama thought I would just adjust it to my liking.
I didn’t adjust it though, I wore it the way it was made because my mama made it for me. I had quite a few people point out it was ridiculously long but I didn’t care. They of course would not have know how much effort went into it. My mama was not well at all so there was more love in it than even I could imagine at that time.
So while I was cleaning today I reflected on how much my mama loves me and how even when her mind did not remember me, her heart did. So I guess I just wanted to put this out there to say, call your mama and tell her how much you love her. Even if she is not here anymore you can still tell her.
There are so many things our mothers do for us, we are not even aware of. The pain and sacrifices they make don’t stop when we grow up.
I love you Deborah Lynn Hansen, more than life itself.
Happy Sunday Everyone.
-Jess
